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Old McDonald had Tourettes e - i - e -i -cunt [22 Jul 2009|05:45pm]
Deep in her cunt lies a forbidden stench
overgrowth of fungus has now commenced
through vomitus lips cums a cunt squeege
into my mouth she's released cottage cheese

fresh from the oven
through flappy lips
covered with bile
spread on thick

 yeast infected cunt strudel

Ohio man convicted of drinking adolescent boys' [04 Mar 2006|01:14am]
[ mood | bored ]

COLUMBUS, Ohio -- A Central Ohio man allegedly told police last week that he likes to drink the urine of adolescent boys.

Alan Patton, 54, is in jail after allegedly telling Gahanna, Ohio, police about his affection for urine.

Police said Patton goes to family restaurants and movie theaters and waits for boys in a bathroom stall. Investigators said he shuts off the water to the child-level urinal and puts a cup in the bottom.

"He goes back and retrieves the cup and drinks the urine," Detective Ron Fithen said.

Patton allegedly told police that he leaves the stall after the child leaves.

Fithen interviewed Patton after he was arrested while leaving a movie theater last weekend.

"Listening to him describe it, it's like listening to a crack or cocaine addict. He's addicted to children's urine," Fithen said.

According to police, Patton said he's been drinking urine for years.

"He told us he's been doing it over 40 years, since he was 7 years old," Fithen said.

Police said Patton told them it makes him sick, but that it's almost spiritual to him. He allegedly added, "I like it because it makes me closer to them -- like I'm drinking their youth."

A New Albany, Ohio, father played a role in Patton's arrest. He told someone at a movie theater that Patton was staring at his son in the bathroom. The theater employee then called police.

Officials said Patton is a registered sexual predator, who was convicted of rape 13 years ago.

Police believe Patton has been collecting and drinking urine in cities around Central Ohio, including Hilliard, Westerville, Dublin, Worthington and Gahanna.


Niggerbabble Translator [03 Mar 2006|09:57am]
[ mood | awake ]


[01 Mar 2006|11:28pm]
awww did I offend some of you with my last post?
2 Executions| Torture

Niggers are scum....... [28 Feb 2006|11:07am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

I think you're fucking ugly, I think you fucking smell
You moved into my neighborhood and then it went to Hell
Die homie, die

You think you're fucking tough, you think you're fucking big
But you're just another lousy fucking jig
Die homie, die

Always on the corner, selling fucking crack
Cry racism when you're busted because you're fucking black
Die, homie die

You say you hate whitey, but you want his woman
Well i've got news for you, nigger- the race war is coming
Die homie, die

Mandatory abortions for niggers

Show up to your house with steel-toed boots
Kick your ass right off the roof
Then shove a coathanger in your cunt
And scrape out that nigger runt

Mandatory abortions for niggers

There's too many spooks, don't need any more
Stomp that future criminal on the floor
It's about time you realized
You primates should be sterilized

Mandatory abortions for niggers

X Marks the Spook

Niggers are arrogant, it's a fact
The world owes them something because they're black
"By any means necessary" malcolm once said
'Till one of his own show him in the head

X marks the spook

Black this, black that- will it never end
Always the first with the fashion trends
With an "X" on their hat, and an "X" on their chest
Whip out a gun and take your best...



Top Thirty Facts About Chuck Norris... [16 Feb 2006|03:37am]
[ mood | awake ]

this is old but still awesome...

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

Chuck Norris only masterbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "Fucking."

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".

2 Executions| Torture

you got soul, dawg. [15 Feb 2006|12:17am]
[pappabubba] wuz up
[mutilatedcorpse] yeah?
[pappabubba] you got soul
[mutilatedcorpse] pardon me?
[pappabubba] soul
[mutilatedcorpse] what the fuck are you talking about, are you asking a question or making a statement
[pappabubba] do you got soul mutherfucker
[mutilatedcorpse] does my name look like I listen to soul music you fucking spook
[pappabubba] you need to lay of the coffee
[mutilatedcorpse] and you need to be hung from a tree
[pappabubba] i just ask you a question
[mutilatedcorpse] you axe me a question dawg
[pappabubba] damn is it that bad
[mutilatedcorpse] I don't speak jiggabo, outta here.

How to use a Douche bag. [13 Feb 2006|12:15am]
[ mood | indifferent ]

1. Sterilize the Enema Set by keeping them in luke warm water for 3 to 4 hours (overnight) and wash the douche can properly.
2. Fix the douche tube with douche bag by inserting bottom nozzle of douche bag in one end of douche tube.
3. Fix the stop cock on the other end of douche tube.
4. Fill the douche bag with luke-warm water to be used for enema.
5. Fix the rectal/vagina pipe with stop cock.
6. Place the douche bag at a height to ensure good flow of water.
7. Lubricate the Rectal/Vaginal pipe/nozzle with vaseline.
8. Turn the knob to let the air out of the rubber tube.
9. Prepare yourself for enema. (Please ensure that you are in a good health and are able to carry enema activities.)
10. Insert the rectal/vaginal pipe into the anus/vagina and turn the knob of stop cork so that it allows flow of water through it.
11. Take out the rectal/vaginal pipe when enema is over. Wash again all the enema equipment with warm water.


plop [11 Feb 2006|11:58pm]
Tank ass

Eat shit

Random gore Image post [11 Feb 2006|12:49am]
[ mood | groggy ]

Say cheese.


Read more...Collapse )

2 Executions| Torture

Confused [09 Feb 2006|01:20pm]

There was this Native American boy who was
confused so this is what he
asked his mother:
Mom, why is my brother's name Windstorm?

She answered: Because he was conceived during
a wind storm.

Well, why is my sister's name Moon-shine? She
answered again: Because she
was conceived when
the moon was shining.

The poor little boy looked sad and confused.

His mother said, ''Why
are you so sad and confused

2 Executions| Torture

The Amish Hand Warmer [09 Feb 2006|01:16pm]

An amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery
day. The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold." the mother
replied "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up." The
daughter did and her hands warmed up.

The next day the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, "My hands
are freezing cold." The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth of
my body will warm them up." He did and warmed his hands. The following day the
boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, "My nose is cold."
The girl replied "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it
up." He did and warmed his nose. The next day the boyfriend was again driving
with the daughter and he said, "My penis is frozen solid."

The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother, and
she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?" Slightly concerned the
mother said, "Why, yes. Why do you ask?" The daughter replies, "They make one
hell of a mess when they defrost, don't they?"


Choices [09 Feb 2006|01:12pm]
There was an old Jewish man living in an assisted living center. At 10 pm on a
Saturday night there was a knock on his door. The man opened the door to find a
gorgeous 22 year old blonde wearing nothing but a black see through negligee. He
asked the girl "what can I do for you". The blond looked to him very seductively
and said "I am here to offer you super sex". The man stood there for a minute
and looked her up and down and said "I'll try the soup."

Urine drinker booted from job as crossing guard [09 Feb 2006|01:00pm]
Drinking your own urine? Orland Park police have no problem with that.

But drink it in a front-page newspaper article while wearing your crossing
guard uniform complete with official police insignia, and there will be

Ed Danis, the 84-year-old Orland Park "urine therapy" devotee featured in a
Jan. 29 Southtown story, has been suspended from his job as a crossing guard,
effective Wednesday.

Orland Park Police Chief Tim McCarthy, whose department oversees the
part-time guards, said Danis had been warned in writing twice before that he was
not allowed to espouse his beliefs while on duty or in his uniform.

"It has nothing to do with urine therapy," McCarthy said. "People cannot go
around in Orland Park police uniforms speaking out on any issues."

McCarthy said the same actions would be taken if Danis had attended a
political fundraiser in uniform.

Danis appeared in his uniform in three photos that accompanied the Jan. 29
story, though the Orland Park police insignia arm patch is only visible in one
shot. The photos were taken inside Danis' apartment while he was off-duty.

Danis has been a crossing guard in town for 13 years, serving most recently
as a guard near Kruse Elementary School, he said.

"I've never taken a day off," he said. "I'm one of the senior guards, one of
their best employees."

Danis confirmed that he had been disciplined twice before for discussing
urine therapy while on duty. The most recent incident happened in February 2004
when a fellow guard complained after Danis suggested that her friend gargle her
own urine to cure a sore throat, he said.

Danis said a police sergeant who supervises the crossing guards asked him
Wednesday to resign or face being fired this week. Danis refused to resign and
contacted a lawyer.

McCarthy said "the matter will be resolved shortly."

Though Danis said he'd miss the $13-an-hour, 20-hour-a-week job, he is
comforted through urine therapy.

"I told you that nothing bothers me anymore" since he started drinking about
18 ounces of his own urine daily about 12 years ago.

Danis is convinced that the medical establishment is trying to keep urine
therapy a secret.

"I think someone in the medical lobby got to the chief of police," he said.
"They don't want this out."


Teen Using Restroom Falls Out Bus Window - Yahoo! News [09 Feb 2006|12:57pm]

ALBANY, N.Y. - A New York City teenager fell out the window of a moving bus
while using the restroom Tuesday and landed on the New York State Thruway.

State police said Jose Gonzales, 17, lost his balance when the chartered bus
swerved to change lanes. It was unclear how fast the bus was going.

Gonzales was taken to Albany Medical Center for treatment. Police said he'll

Gonzales fell onto the shoulder of the thruway near Exit 23 southbound.

He had been at the Capitol on Tuesday to lobby with a group on the issue of



Slash teets [01 Feb 2006|05:37pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

Goangetfucts says:
i was gettin my friends address so i can send him these chocolates i got him for christmas
Goangetfucts says:
they have
Goangetfucts says:
rum in them
Goangetfucts says:
Goangetfucts says:
i wont eat em
Goangetfucts says:
speaking of eating
Goangetfucts says:
you should make me some food
Goangetfucts says:
He's away cause he's making me food.
Goangetfucts says:
Mutilated Corpse says:
Mutilated Corpse says:
whos making what food now
Goangetfucts says:
Goangetfucts says:
Im hungry
Mutilated Corpse says:
you wish
Mutilated Corpse says:
the fuck you sending this guy chocolates for
Goangetfucts says:
Mutilated Corpse says:
fuck him
Goangetfucts says:
cause hes a dick
Mutilated Corpse says:
so posion them first
Mutilated Corpse says:
ah you like dicks eh?
Goangetfucts says:
I am a chick
Mutilated Corpse says:
send me a breast
Goangetfucts says:
uhh NO
Mutilated Corpse says:
yah man
Goangetfucts says:
I like my tits
Mutilated Corpse says:
slice that shit off
Goangetfucts says:
Mutilated Corpse says:
fuck you, send me it man
Goangetfucts says:
YOU know because of youre demented ass i took display pictures off
Goangetfucts says:
Mutilated Corpse says:
too much talkie not enough tit slashing happening here
Goangetfucts says:
No thanks
Mutilated Corpse says:
well, don't you suckith thy cock
Goangetfucts says:
Goangetfucts says:
OF course I do
Mutilated Corpse says:
Goangetfucts says:
But that has nothing to do with me slicing my tit off
Mutilated Corpse says:
sure it does
Mutilated Corpse says:
do it up
Goangetfucts says:
Crazy guy
Goangetfucts says:
Im going to learn to speak danish
Mutilated Corpse says:
what the fuck for
Mutilated Corpse says:
I'll danish you
Goangetfucts says:
Goangetfucts says:
that sounds hot
Goangetfucts says:
Goangetfucts says:
whats your name?
Mutilated Corpse says:
yeah I'll stick my cock in your ear and smack you stupid
Goangetfucts says:
I like callin people by their first names
Mutilated Corpse says:
Goangetfucts says:
Youre so adorable
Mutilated Corpse says:
suck it
Goangetfucts says:
wtf is the attitude
Mutilated Corpse says:
Goangetfucts says:
are ya cranky now
Goangetfucts says:
Mutilated Corpse says:
haha no
Goangetfucts says:
well be nice
Mutilated Corpse says:
I am nice
Mutilated Corpse says:
god damnit
Goangetfucts says:
to me
Mutilated Corpse says:
slash the teets and I'll smile
Goangetfucts says:
i gotta scratch on my tit does that count
Goangetfucts says:
and wtf is all tit talk anyway
Goangetfucts says:
its cause i said youre hot isnt it
Goangetfucts says:
Mutilated Corpse says:
eh? no i like slashing teets
Goangetfucts says:
would you ever do that to me?
Mutilated Corpse says:
slash teets?
Goangetfucts says:
Mutilated Corpse says:
why yes, yes I would
Goangetfucts says:
moving along
Mutilated Corpse says:
it's a beautiful day in the neighbour hood
Goangetfucts says:
Dont worry
Goangetfucts says:
you dont scare me
Mutilated Corpse says:
would you like some sour cream and onion pringles?
Goangetfucts says:
NOpe im good
Mutilated Corpse says:
Mutilated Corpse says:
wrong answer
Mutilated Corpse says:
Mutilated Corpse says:
can you do me a favor?
Goangetfucts says:
Mutilated Corpse says:
make your ass spew some hot lava, ass lava. woot
Goangetfucts says:
Mutilated Corpse says:
rivers of rancid ass juice make me go. wooooo
Goangetfucts says:
I bet
Goangetfucts says:
sounds hot
Mutilated Corpse says:
hot creamy anal discharge
Goangetfucts says:
just let me know when youre done
Mutilated Corpse says:
with the hot ass lava?
Mutilated Corpse says:
Mutilated Corpse says:
Mutilated Corpse says:
Mutilated Corpse says:
anal destruction
Mutilated Corpse says:
chocolate pie

2 Executions| Torture

Trailerpark Necrolust [29 Jan 2006|01:19pm]
[ mood | determined ]

DAVENPORT — The murder and kidnapping trial of Roger Bentley grew more bizarre and grisly today as victim autopsy photos were shown in court and the defense introduced evidence that Bentley has dabbled in the occult.

Forensic pathologist Marcus Nashelsky took the stand late this morning, walking the court through a series of photos from the nine-hour autopsy that showed extreme damage to the body of 10-year-old Jetseta Gage, the Cedar Rapids girl Bentley is accused of kidnapping, raping and killing.

Authorities say Bentley, 38, of Brandon, abducted Gage on March 24, 2005, from her home, then drove her to the deserted Johnson County mobile home where he raped and killed her. She died of asphyxiation, court records show.
Authorities arrested Bentley, a convicted sex offender, at the mobile home the day after the girl's disappearance. He faces two mandatory life prison sentences if convicted on the kidnapping and murder charges.

The most horrific autopsy photos — about half of the 10 displayed — showed severe bleeding from and damage to Jetseta’s buttocks and genitals. Jetseta’s mother and grandmother left the courtroom shortly after the testimony began.

Nashelsky said Jetseta’s head was covered in a plastic garment bag, wrapped around her face and neck with three revolutions of tape. Her body was covered with minor bruises on her head, face, abdomen, left shoulder, back, arms and legs.

“The number and recent appearance (of the bruises) would be consistent with some sort of altercation before death,” Nashelsky said. He emphasized during his testimony that the bruises were both very recent and occurred before Jetseta died.

The emphasis that the injuries weren’t post-mortem might have been in a response to a bizarre exhibit entered into evidence earlier this morning by the defense.

During cross examination of Johnson County Sheriff Capt. Dave Henderson, the defense presented a book that was seized from Bentley’s home in Brandon. The book, “The Necromantic Ritual Book” by Leilah Wendell, details several rituals of necromancy, the practice of using corpses to raise the spirit of the dead, or the corpse itself. Online reviews of the book say that its purpose is to connect one with the “Angel of Death, Azreal.”

Henderson confirmed that the book was indeed taken from Bentley’s residence. At the time the book was mentioned, family members of Bentley’s alleged victim, 10-year-old Jetseta Gage, began murmuring to each other and shaking their heads.

How the practice of necromancy plays into Bentley’s defense, however, remains unclear. During a break from this morning’s testimony, Bentley attorney Peter Persaud said only that the topic would come up again during closing arguments.

In testimony on Thursday, there was one brief mention of a possible supernatural element to the case, when the defense asked Robin Walker — a friend of Bentley who tipped off police that he might be hiding in the abandoned trailer — whether she recalled Bentley mentioning “three bodies.”

Walker confirmed that at the time she showed the abandoned trailer to Bentley some time before the abduction, Bentley did mention that he “sensed” there were three bodies on the property. Walker dismissed the comments at the time, she said.

In other testimony, Henderson said he noted fresh blood on Bentley’s clothes in a sheriff’s department interview room after Bentley had been taken into custody. Police confiscated Bentley’s clothes as evidence.

Henderson also said that authorities identified Jetseta’s body with a school ID card that had her thumbprint on it.

So far, the prosecution has called 18 of 19 witnesses — five of whom took the stand this morning.

3 Executions| Torture

Man Tries To Scare Hiccups Out Of Nephew, Kills Him [25 Jan 2006|07:49pm]
[ mood | amused ]

BOGOTA, Colombia -- A Colombian man who tried to startle his nephew from a bout of the hiccups by pointing a gun at him accidentally pulled the trigger and killed him.

Police in the northern city of Barranquilla said the distraught uncle then ran out of the house and down the street a few yards before stopping and shooting himself. He died from a gunshot wound in the head.

According to police, the incident occurred Sunday night after the two men had been drinking.


Man is 80% Water! [25 Jan 2006|02:05pm]
[ mood | horny ]

hide your dogs, hide your cats-gook,gook
you can't drive, your face is flat-gook,gook
your eyes aren't straight, it's you i hate-gook,gook
you pick rice, we bombed you twice-gook,gook

you're a fucking gook

your accent's gay, please go away-gook,gook
you look alike, you ride a bike-gook,gook
you own a store, i kicked in your door-gook,gook
you fucking gook, you make me puke-gook,gook

1 Execution| Torture

Cow Excrement tastes like shit [10 Jan 2006|09:17am]
[ mood | awake ]

well it does.


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